Reflections on Grief II

The train was a central part of Sham and Lance. We rode the train together many times. We experienced falling in love on the train. I remember the first time we rode the train together. It was the PATH train between Newark and 9th Street. Our conversation was sweet, vulnerable, and meaningful.

The next train we took was later that night. We rode up from W 4th Street to 116th Street. We sat down together, our hearts melting, our faces aglow. Our eyes locked. They burned with young love. Read More

Reflections on Grief

It has been a good long while since I have written anything for this blog. Between school, field education, work, graduation, dating, and dealing with grief, this has been a tremendously complex season in my life.

The most difficult moment of this season occurred on March 3, 2017, when my partner, Sham, died. Read More

5 Things I Learned in 2015

2015 was not the easiest year of my life. I had to make the hardest decisions and ask the hardest questions in my journey thus far. Questions like, “Who am I? What are my values? Who do I want to become? Where am I heading? How will my decisions impact those around me now and those who will come after me?”

This year brought the greatest depths of pain that I have ever experienced. There were moments of seismic sorrow and deathly darkness. Read More

Beauty and the [Queer]

Beauty and the Beast had a special draw for me as a child (let’s be real, it still does along with the rest of Disney). It was the first movie that I saw in theaters (unless you count my mom going to see Steel Magnolias when she was pregnant with me). But this story of love was so powerful to me. Ask any of my family members and they can tell you about the Beauty and the Beast poster that is still hanging in my bedroom at my grandparents’ house.

Surely liking Beauty and the Beast does not mean much, though. But it became fairly evident to me that most of the things that I were drawn to were not what the prevailing culture had deemed appropriate for little boys. I knew—let’s be clear that I certainly did not have the language for this as a 3 year old—that I was queer. Read More